Where to go from here?

So, here it goes. My attempt to blog my way through my experiences... but how to start? I have a tendency to over analyze so maybe I should take it day by day and see where that goes. 

At the risk of making this too journaly today was completely normal. Woke up late, rushed to work then spent a chunk of the day with my head elsewhere. The boyfriend met me for lunch at my favorite salad bar but there wasn't much to talk about. It's not like we sit in silence but more like we talk at each other than with each other. Then back to work. Rushed home when the clock struck 5 to finish cleaning my house so I wouldn't be too mortified when my mom came to help my sister move out of my house and out of my life - at least until she grows up. I didn't want to be around when said moving commenced so I high tailed it to the boyfriend’s house to watch the Giants game (although I was under the impression we were going to see a movie)... again not much conversation with him. Where did that spark go?  We're approaching our five year anniversary and so much has changed in our lives.  I feel like he's grown up in a lot of ways and I've plateaued.

One of my biggest problems is giving up if I'm not really good at something.  Another is having a hard time understanding what I'm feeling.  Both of these have definitely held me back but I have no idea how to overcome them.  I'm not sure if the problems in my relationship are my own or actual problems in our compatability.

I think everything comes down to me not being happy with where things are in my life.  I'm 27 and my life it nothing like I expected it to be.  I thought for sure I'd be married, starting a family, in a job that supported me and finished with school.  Instead I'm in my fifth year in a relationship with a great guy but if he asked me to marry him tomorrow I don't know what I'd say.  I'm in a job that barely pays the bills but don't want to leave for something else because I can see the potential here.  I finished all my classes for my associates degree but have to petition for two to count so that I can make it official (took higher classes than what's required and have to petition to have them count for math and speech).  Instead of having a family I've gotten involved with fostering homeless dogs which is a whole other story.  I've gotten into some debt after my first relationship and it hasn't all been paid off yet so that's been a weight on my shoulders too.  I've also gained a ton of weight since I've moved out on my own and it makes me feel pretty crummy about myself.  

How do you gain self discipline?  I seriously need to figure that out stat so I can take control of things.  I take on too much in all areas of my life so instead of doing a great job on a few things I do a mediocre job on a lot of things and it's exhausting.  I keep telling myself I'm going to stop spreading myself to thin but then I'm asked to do something, given an opportunity or a dog I just can't bring myself to say no to comes up.  I hate letting people down and I feel that if I can help I should, otherwise I feel selfish.

As always, the question remains - what now?

Okay, that's enough for today - more later.  Good night!